Everything and Nothing
by Love and Nuts
Summary: When Tsukimori Len left, he left real good. She was then aware that music was the only thing still keeping them connected. And now it frightens her to think how it too is being taken away and eventually would cause them to drift apart. Two-part Oneshot. No character death.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**This is a two-part one shot. As such there will be no heavily thought plot in this. Just hoping to touch your hearts a bit. My first La Corda entry and my first fic after years of being inactive. Hope you'll like it all.

Mandatory Disclaimer: this is a FAN fic. I only own this plot.

**When he left, he left real good. She was then aware that music was the only thing still keeping them connected. And now it frightens her to think how it too is going to be taken away and eventually would cause them to drift apart.**

…**..**

_Tokyo_

Ryoutaro Tsuchiaura reached for the cup and took a sip at his freshly served hot coffee. It was still too hot to make out the taste so he gently placed it back to its saucer. For this Sunday morning of the Christmas holiday, his to-do list simply states: have a good breakfast. He had been working hard through his final years in the university as his commitments chase him up. So he promised to do self-reward like this one, every now and then. Well, _she_ actually made him promised after taking note how _things_ were wearing him down, physically. _That coming from her._

It was freezing cold outside but the city streets were crowded and noisy today, he observed behind the generous glass window of the coffee house. People were making the most out of their days-off. He too was very free today. As soon as the winter break started, he had locked himself up to finish all the requirements in school. And in time, he was officially schoolwork free, well, except for the regular practice he needs. He did so to attend to his long time friend Hino Kahoko who has left for Vienna recently, as planned.

No, she won't be staying there for a long time. She is there just to see that man once more. How long has it been since she wanted that? Ah. . .since _he_ left, which has been four years. She made a promise to him, and to herself, that one day she would come and see him play the violin again. It was a promise that he thought time would swallow and circumstances would overpower. But clearly, his _hope_ had failed him.

Oh, the great Len Tsukimori. That lucky bastard. . . to be loved so much by Kahoko. He left just when she has grown more attached to him. He was not around when she needed his help the most. Hell, he has not been around the past years to see her worked her ass off just to stay in the music school but leave in the end. But still, she would always have him in her mind. While he, Ryoutaro could only try to replace him in her mind, in her heart.

"Tsuchiura!" a cheery voice raved in front of him. Instantly, he was stopped at his intensifying run of thoughts. There was a little spill of coffee on his table.

"Hih–hihara -senpai." He said in a shaken voice. He was startled to see his senpai already seated across the table and a bit surprised too to see his pancakes already on his grab.

He gave that signature giggle. "Well, you were so spaced out when I walked in."

_That's true._

"So, you thinking of her?"

". . .Yeah." A hint of shyness lingered.

"Ryoutaro. . . You think she'll be fine alone?"

"If she's with Len then she'll be fine." He was a bit bitter in that reply.

"Hope they're ok."

He eyed his senpai whose mouth was currently being stuffed with pancakes.

…**..**

_A person who pursues music will always be lonely,_

_because the music requires everything of him._

…**..**

_Vienna, Austria_

He finished the piece with a spiccato. For a moment, he held his stature and listened as the notes reverberate in the theater. Perfect. He sighed. He casually went down the stage and packed his violin. He picked up his coat laid on a front row seat, put on his scarf then went on to have the rest of the day. The large matted door swung and closed and the auditorium was silent again.

Len Tsukimori finds these days to be the perfect time to have practices, when only a few students would be around in school. The campus was quiet and most of the rooms and the parks he can have it for himself to practice. There were a few professors in the faculty room, some he saw as he passed along the corridor, perhaps busy supervising musical performances for the holiday. He was already at the lobby, about to leave the building when he heard someone called.

"Tsukimori!"

Nobody could call him that way these days. The accent was perfect Japanese. Then he saw this red head lady standing beside the massive column of the façade. She was smiling awkwardly. He stared at her. The lady was in a dark blue caped coat and her face was almost half-buried in her thick gray scarf. She waved her gloved hand at him, almost looking hopeful he'd wave back. _Could it be?_ No, perhaps a lower classmen. One of those who'd follow him around? He brushed the thought off and took off proceeding to walk to the broad staircase.

The girl sighed. She walked with pace to catch him up. But reaching the stairs, she had completely slowed down and after going only a few steps, she screamed,"Cho- chotte matte, Tsukimori-kun!"

At that point, he was already at the bottom of the staircase. Now this got him thinking who she really was. He turned back, adjusted his glasses and narrowed his eyes. The girl was now looking anxious.

"Hi- . . Hino?"

He could see she was panting a bit, "That was mean." A bit pouting too. She carefully went down the stairs while he was just there at the bottom staring at her stunned.

"Is that how you treat your acquaintance now?"

". . . no." He almost whispered.

"Then what was that?" she stopped right before him, a step higher on the stairs. Now he was sure he's not mistaken.

"You're not an acquaintance." He put down his case on the ground and gracefully wrapped his arms around her waist. "You're more than that." She felt a little tense but soon relaxed in his embrace as he felt hands circle on his neck.

/

He had gotten taller. His face has matured. His hair was a bit messed up, but it works with his face. Then everything else seems to be the same for her. Overall, he has gotten really . really. handsome.

"Hino." She was cut off of her trail of thought, and also of her staring.

"Yes?" she responded quickly in reflex. She realized that they have stopped and already at the gate of the school. Had she been starring at him the whole time they walked together? That would explain why his voice came up more like a command.

"Do you have plans for today?"

"Yes!" she delightedly replied. She stepped in front of him, "I was planning to hang-out with you then dinner with you!" she paused, realized how tactless she'd spoke. "Well, that's if you don't have plans for today."

Then he chuckled. Her face just lit up the moment he asked her that question then sulked right after comprehending just how she laid it out_. _"A date it is!" He teased, or rather, straightened up, still chortling. Her cheeks went pink in instant. She just had subconsciously put herself into an embarrassing position.

"Hey, I came all the way here to see you and you're just gonna laugh about my idea of hanging out?" She explained herself.

"I'm sorry." He tried to hold back. "It's just that I was about to ask you out too." Still calming himself.

She froze for a second. Her blushing just went a shade deeper. She seems not to be used to this apparent Len. She was stirred when he took her hand in his, "So, where should we go first?" He asked while looking around hoping to remember a good place in town. She smiled like almost content.

…**..**

Kahoko first met him in high school, sophomore year. She was a bit terrified, to be honest. The air around him easily reads: apathetic. self-centered. aristocrat. But today, when she saw him walking along the corridor, she could now moderate those words into: indifferent, snobbish and well off. But those impressions don't mean much when she's with him. Now that she's walking along with him catching up for the years missed.

The whole day they spent checking the local tourist spots and city parks. They were expectedly, more people than usual in those places. But really, nothing catches her attention more than his stories. And it seems the same to him as well. She would ask him about his school and what it's like in this place. Then he would ask her about their friends. The conversation was stuck on Ryoutaro at one point though. He was probably perplexed at how they could "cross paths" so often.

When they reached the park, it was late in the afternoon already. They ate some street foods as they continue trading stories on a bench. She'd remember the last time they sat together like this. When he told her he'll be studying in abroad. And even made it clear it's for a long time.

That time, she was confused. She didn't know how to feel about it. She knows she should be happy for him, yet a part of her won't let her. But things were made clearer to her._ "Your feeling should not matter, and that you should spare him a thought."_ Those were the words of a friend. And she believed in those. Up to now, that's what she opted to do:_ spare him a thought. _

He asked her one night, _"Would you continue playing the violin?"_

"_Yes."_

"Len." She spoke unintentionally cutting him off in his story.

"Hmm?"

"Nothing." she grinned at him knowing how bizarre she came up.

"_So that one day. . . "_

Later after dawn, they found a decent restaurant near the park. There were a good number of people there to dine but the ambiance remained relaxing as so far has their day has been. A waiter ushered them to their table. They got the table beside the glass windows. Perfect. They sat down and sighed in chorus as they could finally rest their feet.

"So, what do you think of Vienna?" he asked while looking out at the window.

"Wonderful." Her face lit up in confirmation. She was enjoying the fact that his face was open for more gazes from her.

"It's nice that you have come here for the holiday."

". . . . And it's nice to see you again."

He really missed that smile. She have gotten prettier over time. She gained weight a little but just right to make her look healthy and her hair was now longer and better kept. He used to tie those frizzy locks a few times way back. Now she was modestly wearing a hair pin to keep it from her face.

"Uhumm" a man interrupted.

Heat crawled up his cheeks as he was embarrassed had he been staring at her more than enough. He straightened himself in his seat gaining composure.

"What would you like to order sir, ma'am?" the waiter announced.

_Great timing._

/

There were not so many people in the street anymore. Probably they are in their homes opening gifts, sharing stories with their love ones and seating by their fireplaces. Tonight, she is a thousand miles away from her family, she has no gifts to open but surely she was with someone she cared so much. As they walk in the brightly lighted walkways of the city, out in the cold weather of the season, their stories were the source of their warmth and their little laughs the buildings would echo. She was happy. She recognizes the feeling in her heart for it has been so long she felt this lightness.

"Kahoko."

This cut her run of thoughts.

"Come with me to the concert." His hand quickly rummaged all his coat's and trouser's pockets for an item. When he thought he felt it in the insides of his coat, he pulled in out and handed like a formal invitation it was, to Kahoko.

She picked it out of his hand and read the details. She was silent for a few seconds and he watched as her face turned that of an anxious. "Am I supposed to wear something formal?"

He laughed at her trifle predicament. She still is the Hino not accustomed to such events. He recalled how she was in their first performance in the concours. She was definitely under pressure that day. "For you, any dress would do." He smiled at her trying to cheer her up. He pulled one of her hand in his, holding it as they continued to walk. They soon parted ways for the night when they reached Hino's place but not without a kiss and a 'goodnight'.

…**..**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** 2/2

…**..**

She heard once that in this world, there are two kinds of happiness. One is that kind when you realize upon recalling the event, that you were happy. This leaves you a memory to treasure. The other, is when you know at that very moment that you are happy. This is rarest to occur and is probably the happiest moment of a man's life. But then, what would be this kind of feeling when you know you are happy having what you longed for come real yet realize a growing sting in the pit of your heart? It was threatening to her that if the throbbing would grow, it would eat the happiness away and when that happens, she doesn't know how to be happier again.

She watches Len Tsukimori draw his bow one last time to finish the piece and wrap the night's show. He did more than just as the finale of the concert. Everyone stood up in applause. Near her in the front row she noticed men nodding to each other, an approval to performance. Some ladies a few seats back where clapping wildly and giggling. Obviously some fan girls. Len gives a few bows together with his accompanists, and they all gracefully leave the stage through the corner panels. The theater brightened as they switched the rest of the lightings on and everyone started to exit. She goes along with crowd. Some guests were proceeding to the arranged hall for some formal greetings and celebration.

Len. Behind all the pressure having to belong in a family of classical musicians, and not just ordinary musicians at that, he had wanted all this. Even as a kid, he has been serious about music, for music. That was how clear his goal was. Some may have disregarded his efforts thinking things were effortless to him being a music prodigy and that his talent was pure gift, but he strived hard to surprise these people beyond their expectations.

The gathering at the hall was open for all. She went in to check how things were standing from the back just near the entrance. The hall was filled. The performers of that night were all busy chatting either with their family members, their professors or the others guests and sponsors. She could see Len having his fair share of guests. Beside him standing was one teacher who was introducing him to the guests. For a second she was worried that his "apathetic" personality would read to the guests and set them off but another look tells her he's very much doing well with the greetings. He was smiling like sincere, and he was well engaged in the conversation. Probably because these people are talented and passionate about music too like him that he relates well. She was genuinely happy for him.

The hall, the stage, the crowd of talented musicians, career makers, and music enthusiasts. He belonged in this world.

How far has he gone in the path. And how far behind was she.

After awhile Len catches her gazing from a distance. Surprised, she just waved him 'hi". He immediately excused himself politely from the circle corner. When she noticed he was approaching, she worried she's pulling her out from some customary salutations so she waved her hand in front of her for him to stop. But this just confused Len and nonetheless proceeded to her.

"Are you getting bored?"

"No. I like watching from the back."

"Sorry. This is going to take awhile."

"It's okay!" she tried to wave his thought and gave him her best smile. "You should go back now. They might be looking for you."

He nodded and left.

/

Half of the guests at the hall already left for the night and he thought that he was done and good to go. The event was exhausting for him too in its own way. He searched for the sight of the particular red head in a little white dress in the hall but found none. He heads for the lobby to look more and as soon as he opened the large doors of the entrance, he saw the girl standing by the windows somewhat spaced out. He hastily approached her without her noticing him. He twirled his fingers at her left hand resting by her side. She was surprised when she saw her already beside her watching too, whatever was out in the window.

" Len." She sighed relieved she knew the man intruding her privacy.

"Should we go now?" He already has his coat and his violin on the other arm.

"Len, I'll be leaving tomorrow."

"…that is too soon."

"I never intended to stay long here."

"Why is that?"

". . .I just wanted to see you really." _Badly._

"Could I make you stay longer?"

". . . Maybe next time." _Yes._

"I guess you've made up your mind."

Kahoko turned and faced him with a smile on. "We should leave now. You look tired already."

The two took off for the night, still not letting go of each other's hold.

/

The cab had stopped and parked at the entrance of her hotel. It was a disappointment for its two passengers. For awhile they thought time has stopped in that temporary confinement. The lights would seep through the lightly tainted windows as their ride sped through the streets. It would play inside their little dark world and sometimes it would lit his face and she would see a little smile plastered on his face while he was dozing off. But time in truth never stops, and will never stop for anyone.

"Len." She almost whispered. "Thank you. Thank you for the great music. Thank you for spending time with me." She smiled and moved towards him for a kiss on his cheek. Somehow, she managed to slip something in his coat while doing so.

"Kahoko. . ."

She paused for a few seconds staring at his face, attempting to memorize every curve and feature and burn it in her memory. "Good bye." She opened the door and moved out of the car. Inside, he was just staring at her watching her go inside the lobby. He opted not to wave good bye. When she was out of sight, he ordered the cab to his address.

The snow seemed especially gentle tonight.

…**..**

"_And since it was music that brought us together, I believe only by going down with this path would we be united."_

…**..**

"Len. Your father and I will be there tonight. Let's all have dinner. "

"Sure, mom."

"Is Hino-san still there with you? Please, extend the invitation to her. "

"She already left, mother."

"How unfortunate. It's been awhile since I saw her. And she wasn't even well that time."

"Oh. So you've been talking to her."

"Well, when she was in the hospital. Poor girl. She can barely move that time."

"Hospital, What happened to her?"

"She didn't tell you?"

"No. What did she _missed_ to tell?"

"There was a construction accident in the city few years ago. She and Tsuchiura-san got involved but she was badly injured. The next I heard she was forced to quit Tokyo U."

". . . . ."

He swiftly picked up his coat laid on a couch but before he was able to put it on, something fell out of its pocket. It was an envelope. He picked it off the floor, inspected it but none was written so he went tearing it open. It was not a mistake the letter landed in his hands.

_Len,_

_From here, I will be taking a path different from yours, different from what we've planned and what I've promised. I see how far you've gone with yours. I can see it clear as you stood in that stage, raise your violin and pull your bow. Everything. It was just fitting for you. I know you worked so hard for all these._

_I don't know when are we going to meet again and I'm hoping we'd still do, and that when we do, we still know each other. Good luck and take care. You'll always be in my heart. _

_Kahoko_

…**..**

His hands put together. He gave out a sigh and hunched even more on his seat. It was expectedly crowded in the airport today as it is still the holiday season. People were busy and in a rush most likely to be with their family and friends. Today, as he has promised, he'll fetch her when she gets back to Japan. He already heard the attendant on the speaker announce the flight number from Vienna has arrived. He's been at the waiting area for 40 minutes and she should be here now at anytime.

He's not really sure if he's excited or nervous to see Kahoko again. He's not even sure if what she did would make things better for her. Would she really be happy after seeing Len? _And would he be glad to hear that from her. . . ?_ Because in that five years he was not around, he didn't seem to care what has been happening in her life, preoccupied so much with his music; Because in that five years, it was him who had been watching over Kahoko more than anyone else. HE has been beside her every day watching her breaking inside and desperately needing someone to lean on. . .

But his deep thoughts were cut off when he felt a thick cottoned cloth being placed from the back of his neck. He was startled but when she walked in front of him just to adjusted the green knit scarf better, he relaxed and just let her. Her hands were light and comforting as she places the material. But this was too strange to him. He grabbed the hand to get her attention. "Kaho-"

"'Thank you', is enough for now."

She sat on the vacant seat beside him and sighed. He could just stare at her at the moment and wait for her to speak. Slowly, her head tilted and leaned to his shoulder. He knew, and he understood then that he has no more words to say to ease her pain.

She went all the way to Europe just to see him play the violin again. Because she wanted to reassure herself, and she wanted to see there was still hope to her dream. She needed to grab on something. Someone.

All these years She has been chasing after Len Tsukimori. For music. For love. For hope.

…**..**

His hands are quivering. He gave out a sigh and hunched even more on his seat. He buried his face in his hands and now he realized how cold those limbs got. For the last few hours, sitting on the couch outside that room waiting, has pressed him to overwhelming emotions.

A growing sound of quick foot steps in the hallway caught his attention. Then it came to a sudden stop. He lifted his head to see the expected visitor. "Hihara- senpai."

He stood there heavily breathing in front of him. He had obviously run quite a mile judging by his current appearance. Having finally regained some oxygen, he spoke, "What ….happened…?" Kazuki was surprised.

He looked at the room's door. "Still inside." Ryoutaro replied in dreary. Kazuki nearly heard his croaking voice. He was surprised to see him sitting there with a couple of bandages on his face and limbs. He was supposed to be resting right now but he insisted to stay and wait for her.

A few more seconds and another musicians emerged behind, Yunoki. He said nothing but just turned to Tsuchiara, waiting for some answers. Tsuchiara turned his head away in resignation.

Hihara sighed and took a seat beside him. The rest could only sympathize for what happened.

After a few moments of silence, the door of the emergency room has flung opened. Tsuchiura was nervous and frozen at his seat. The doctor approached them, "Friends of. . ." he checked his clipboard, "Hino, Kahoko?" All attention was now on the man except one. The rest nodded in reply.

"May I know if there is a relative here?" The doctor inquired.

" None doctor." Azuma answered in calm tone. "How is she. . .?" He almost bravely asked.

The doctor hesitated to break the news for a moment. "She's stable now…"

A loud sigh. They were all relieved by the news, but Ryoutaro was not ready to rejoice yet. "But. . ." he strictly added. He knew she's not perfectly fine. He was the one who witnessed the freak accident after all. "I saw her hand. It was terrible."The horrific scene started rolling in his mind again. He clasped his hand together. "She's a music student, doctor."

The rest was just silent but their eyes showed they were alarmed at this detail. The doctor gazed at the figure stooping on the chair. "The nerves on her hand were severely damaged. I don't want to give you false hope. There is a little chance she won't suffer permanent impairment."

….

_Durch leiden freude. True happiness ahead of bitterness. Although I know my path ahead of bitterness, I believe in the day when true happiness will follow. Although we may be apart, do remember wherever and whenever, I am always thinking of you Kahoko._

_Len_

….

* * *

**A/N: I hope you liked it. This story has been lying in my laptop for 3 years. I started this that long ago, but I just finished it now and I think it's ready to be published. The recently written part is mostly in this half.**

**I've always thought that there's no need for some explaining of the story at the author's note and just let the story stand for how it was. But im always in doubt of my writing and how i can deliver the story so here: Basically, Len was on his way making his dream come true, while Kahoko lost hers. This all takes place years after the manga, where Len has left for Vienna. Kahoko came to visit him so she can finally have the closure with her dream, that was music, a dream which she had built closely around Len, as he was the person who introduced it to her. It was inevitable too, because of time and a continuously growing distance that she would lose Len too. This she had accepted in her. Bow.**

Comment or Review! i might do a last installment or epilogue of some sort for this if a receive a good number of reviews.:)


End file.
